Congratulations on completing an unforgettable adventure! Welcome back! Some of you have already shared with us your stories, photographs and travel adventures. We know that you have had exciting, wonderful, sad, funny, unforgettable and -most of all- enriching experiences. We also know that there can be challenges to readjusting to life at home. Please read to learn more about what challenges you might expect and how to work through those challenges.
The top ten immediate reentry challenges as outlined by Dr. Bruce La Brack, University of the Pacific:
After all the newness and stimulation of your time abroad, a return to family, friends, and old routines (however nice and comforting) can seem very dull. It is natural to miss the excitement and challenges which characterize study in a foreign country, but it is up to you to find ways to overcome such negative reactions.
2. “No One Wants to Hear”
One thing you can count on upon your return: no one will be as interested in hearing about your adventures and triumphs as you will be in sharing those experiences. This is not a rejection of you or your achievements, but simply the fact that once they have heard the highlights, any further interest on your audiences’ part is probably unlikely. Be realistic in your expectations of how fascinating your journey is going to be for everyone else. Be brief.
3. You Can’t Explain
Even when given a chance to explain all the sights you saw and feelings you had while studying abroad, it is likely to be at least a bit frustrating to relay them coherently. It is very difficult to convey this kind of experience to people who do not have similar frames of reference or travel backgrounds, no matter how sympathetic they are as listeners. You can tell people about your trip, but you may fail to make them understand exactly how or why you felt a particular way. It’s okay.
4. Reverse “Homesickness”
Just as you probably missed home for a time after going abroad, it is just as natural to experience some “reverse” homesickness for the people, places, and things that you grew accustomed to as a student overseas. To an extent it can be reduced by writing letters, telephoning, and generally keeping in contact, but feelings of loss are an integral part of international sojourns and must be anticipated and accepted as a natural result of study abroad.
5. Relationships Have Changed
It is inevitable that when you return you will notice that some relationships with friends and family will have changed. Just as you have altered some of your ideas and attitudes while abroad, the people at home are likely to have experienced some changes. These changes may be positive or negative, but expecting that no change will have occurred is unrealistic. The best preparation is flexibility, openness, minimal preconceptions, and tempered optimism.
6. People See the “Wrong” Changes
Sometimes people may concentrate on small alterations in your behavior or ideas and seem threatened or upset by them. Others may ascribe any “bad” traits to the influence of your time abroad. These incidents may be motivated by jealousy, fear, or feelings of superiority or inferiority. To avoid or minimize them it is necessary to monitor yourself and be aware of the reactions of those around you, especially in the first few weeks following your return. This phase normally passes quickly if you do nothing to confirm their stereotypes.
7. People Misunderstand
A few people will misinterpret your words or actions in such a way that communication is difficult. For example, what you may have come to think of as humor (particularly sarcasm, banter, etc.) and ways to show affection or establish conversation may not be seen as wit, but aggression or “showing off.” Offers of help in the kitchen can be seen as criticism of food preparation, new clothing styles as provocative or inappropriate, references to your host country or use of a foreign language as boasting. Be aware of how you may look to others and how your behavior is likely to be interpreted.
8. Feelings of Alienation/Critical Eyes
Sometimes the reality of being back “home” is not as natural or enjoyable as the place you had constructed as your mental image. When real daily life is less enjoyable or more demanding than you had remembered, it is natural to feel some alienation, see faults in the society you never noticed before or even become quite critical of everyone and everything for a time. This is no different than when you first left home. Mental comparisons are fine, but keep them to yourself until you regain both your cultural balance and a balanced perspective.
9. Inability to Apply New Knowledge and Skills
Many returnees are frustrated by the lack of opportunity to apply newly gained social, linguistic, and practical coping skills that appear to be unnecessary or irrelevant. To avoid ongoing annoyance: adjust to reality as necessary, change what is possible, be creative, be patient, and above all use all the cross-cultural adjustment skills you acquired abroad to assist your own reentry.
10. Loss/Compartmentalization of Experience (Shoeboxing)
Being home, coupled with the pressures of school, family, and friends, often combine to make returnees worried that somehow they will “lose” the experience; somehow becoming compartmentalized like souvenirs or photo albums kept in a box and only occasionally taken out and looked at. You do not have to let that happen. Maintain your contacts. Talk to people who have experiences similar to yours. Practice your skills. Remember and honor both your hard work and the fun you had while abroad.
How to work through these challenges:
There are many positive ways of coping with re-entry. The process of re-adjustment can take weeks or months, and it is very important to give yourself time to cope with the experience. Perhaps the most vital coping strategy is to recognize that what you are going through is normal and very, very common. Expect a period of stress, and know that re-entry is a natural part of the re-adjustment process.
Coming home is a period of adjustment to your home culture and of the integration into your life of what you have learned abroad. People cope with reentry at various levels. The following are coping strategies suggested by study abroad returnees:
- Remember that people will have varying levels of interest in your study abroad experience.
- Be aware that you may need to renegotiate relationships with family, friends, and significant others.
- Try to find ways to get back to your country or region.
- Look at UConn with new eyes! Use some of those skills that helped you transition into your new country.
- Reflect on your experience periodically through a journal, class discussion, class projects, and extracurricular opportunities.
- Be patient with yourself and others. It’s not easy for you to return to UConn or for others to see how you have changed and grown in different ways.
- Most importantly, stay involved!
Perhaps the one thing to keep in mind through all of this is: You have had an amazing experience – you’ve seen places and done things that most people will never see or do – and it was YOUR experience! It is deeply personal, and precisely for that reason you cannot hope to make others understand what you went through and are now going through.